First off, THANK YOU to those of you who posted comments, sent emails, and facebooked me after that last post. It really means a lot to me that people take time out of their day to respond (hell, even to read what I write). When I sat down to type out that post I fully intended it to be a "my day sucked" blurb and that was it... but once my fingers hit the keys - well, it just all came pouring out. But, I'm glad it did. I've always written things out to make sense of them in my head - talking has just never worked for me because I go round and round and back and forth and my conversations (when I'm upset) end up making no sense... So I blogged. And I did take the advice that I got from all of you (and of course, my husband) and I went to see our family doctor this morning. He diagnosed me with PPD and PPD related anxiety. We talked about my irrational fears, my panic attacks, my compulsive behavior, and how all of that coupled with working full time, running on no sleep, crummy eating habits, and stress can be a bit much. He also said it's even more common in mom's of fall babies because of the lack of sunlight (vitamin D). I guess I knew that's what was going on but I just thought that after five months, I would be past that 'hormonal stage' and back to normal (I use the term normal verrrrry loosely). So, tonight I start on antidepressants and hopefully within a few weeks I'll see some improvements. He is also running a ton of blood work to make sure there isn't anything else going on too but it'll be a week or so before we hear back on that. So... hopefully this is the bottom and we're on the upswing now. Thanks again for all the support - it really means a lot to me to know that I'm not the only going through this.
I'm off for the night... Addison is ready to play, dinner is ready to be eaten, and a movie is ready to be popped into the DVD player... TGI(almost)F =]