Stefani's most-fantastical-reads book montage

Crooked Kingdom
Six of Crows
Yellow Brick War
The Wicked Will Rise
Charm & Strange
Their Fractured Light
These Broken Stars
Big Little Lies
I'll Be There
Red Queen

Stefani's favorite books »

Saturday, April 19, 2008

my first dressage show!!

Today, Teresa and I competed in the Richland Riders Dressage Schooling show... It was windy, cold, and threatening to rain all day but we stuck it out and had a really good time. I can't believe that after 10 years, I entered the show ring again! I don't think we qualified for the olympics but for only riding dressage for two months, I was really proud of myself (and Durk!). We rode in Training Level Test 1 and scored a 62.61 percent which earned us third place (out of 12) and in Training Level Test 4 we scored a 62.8 percent and got second!!! And best of all... NO BUCKING!!! I can't wait to do it all again... well, maybe I can :) My feet are killing me and I have bruises all over my legs... a few days and I'll be good as new :)

Team 61, Stefani and Durk

Trotting entrance to Test 4

Yea, I wasn't looking "da neck" :)

I look like an 8 year old in this picture!
Sleepy Durk with his purty ribbons...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

lessons with julio parades... take two.

i just survived my second round of lessons with the fabulous julio parades. one month ago i was a mess in the saddle and i felt like everything i had ever learned for jumpers had screwed me up for dressage. i took two lessons last month and three this weekend and i feel like a whole new (exhausted) person. we have a schooling show next weekend so we'll see how well we can apply it away from home.

working on a leg yeild.... i still can't believe my chicken legs can make that monster move!

this would be my "i'm trying to do too many things at once" face...

practicing our entrance for the show...

i just like this one because durk looks like a giant :)

durk and i could never pass a sobriety test together...

julio on durk, making it look so easy...

julio and durk again...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

the awakening...

aside from the serenity prayer, this is the most frequently referred to piece of writing in my life... when things get messy and overwhelming, i stop, read this, and realize that life will always work itself out in the end... so i thought i'd share it with you all :)
The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are not Prince Charming or the Princess to be kissed and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval. You stop cursing and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the information you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view... and you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love...and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up". You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify your with his or her touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. >You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad things happen to unsuspecting good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayer. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comport in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can. ---James Price

Sunday, April 6, 2008

whaddya mean spring break is over???

one of the biggest perks of teaching is the breaks... a week at thanksgiving, three weeks for the holidays, a week in the spring, and two glorious months off during the summer... that being said, i just managed to accomplish absolutely NOTHING over my spring break... i had lofty aspirations - clean and organize the back two rooms (i did get one done), organize the garage, get the yardwork pulled together, yaddayaddayadda... now here's what i really did - went to the barn, groomed horses, played with horses, sat on horses, got my hair and nails done, rode horses... do you see the problem? so, despite having nothing productive to show for my 9 days off, i did have lots of quality time with my favorite four legged friends... i guess that isn't so bad. here are some pics from my latest excursion :)

me and wonder-durk :)

ahhh... such a pretty boy!

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