A letter to myself...

Dear Self,

I would like you to read this post tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that too. In fact, I'd like you to read it every day for the next year or so. Got it? I hope so.

Today you and the hubs bought a plot of land... it won't be a big move, maybe a 1/4 mile at the most but it will be into a new, custom home, with all your own upgrades and fancy door knobs, etc., etc. It will be bigger than your current house, not by a ton but you will get that 4th bedroom that you've been dying for and the open floor plan that you've wanted all along. You'll get granite counter tops and white moldings and hardwood floors, the double master bath sinks, walk in closet - all of the things you've been dreaming about.

{Can you sense the big 'ole BUT that's coming?}

There is a price for all of those things you've wanted... and  you're going to have to sit down with a lender and fess up about your credit card and come to terms with your {GINORMOUS} student loan debt. You are going to have to learn how to resist the urge to shop - the impulse buys at Costco [but Carters stuff is SO cheap there!], you can't download books to your Kindle app whenever you want [especially because you have a STACK of books on the nightstand waiting to be read], you have to tone down the grocery list, and cut out the morning mocha... YOU. HAVE. TO. QUIT. SPENDING. Not only that, but you have to pay off that damn credit card bill that you racked up while you were on bedrest... and after Cohen was born... and last week. You have to resist the jeans at The Buckle and the free shipping lure at Victoria Secret... You have to quit buying classroom books that you "need"... at least for now. It's time to pull your shit together and make this house thing happen. You're the one with the debt - not Derek. The financing, the APR, the loan amount - that will all be a result of YOUR financial situation. Derek has saved. Derek has paid his debts. You've bought Miss Me's and half of the teen fiction section on Amazon.

As if that wasn't enough - you have to sell your house. The one thing that has terrified you about this whole process. You have to pack up the clutter, clean up the yard, clear out the garage, and keep the house clean {with two tiny tornadoes ripping through it every two seconds... okay, one tornado... but she's equivalent to two}. You have to keep it 'showing' ready... you have to allow strangers in your home when you aren't here, you have to be ready to disappear for an hour at a moments notice [in the dead of winter]. Then, you have to wait on pins and needles for an offer, for escrow, for the whole nail biting process that you went through eight years ago. Then, if the timing isn't right you will have to rent? Live with Derek's parents? In any regard, you will be living out of a suitcase with two small children in the middle of winter.

{Oh gawd... another but}

This is what you wanted. So, get it together. Like, yesterday.