Dear James Dean... You suck.

Consider this my first piece of hate mail directed at my uterus. Just like it's moniker - it's reckless, has no respect for the rules or authority, and continues to break all the rules.

I just got home from my doctor appointment and I'm in a sad/mad/scaredasallhell mood. I'll try to make this the short version because I'm sure you all don't want to hear detailed descriptions of pelvic exams and cervical status updates. Got in the car this morning and headed for Dr. H's office, started having contractions, had PLENTY of time in the waiting room to time them, 4-5 minutes apart, only about 30 seconds long, and only uncomfortable [versus the painful ones that landed us in the hospital the other night]. Peed in the cup, hopped (ha!) on the scale, and waited for Dr.'s words of wisdom. Here they be...

1. I'm taking the maximum dose of Nifedipine for someone my size, 20 mg. every 4 hours. It's also a blood pressure medicine so taking any more isn't in my best interest... blood pressure today was 96/54. It's the most effective medicine I can take at home - the others have more icky side effects and don't work as well. So, we stick with it.

2. I'm dilated to a fingertip [TMI for some of you I know... but I won't describe more than that. You're welcome.] I've been this way since 29 weeks and thankfully the contractions have not moved things along any more in that regard. However, if things DO start to change - my butt lands itself in the very crowded hospital for the next three weeks.

3. I get [read: have] to see Dr. H twice a week to be checked now - Mondays and Fridays. So those are the days I will be the grumpiest. Feel free to send chocolate and sparkly things.

4. He's letting me stay home and in bed because the hospital is SO crowded and we both agreed I would be way more comfortable here - that being said, any time things change [get more frequent, more painful, etc.] we go to the hospital because the old rule of, "When contractions are every three minutes and a minute long" went out the window for us the other day. So now it's, "When they're worse than normal."

5. If Cohen were to be born this week, he'd be roughly 3 1/2 to 4 pounds and would likely spend a month in NICU. If we make it to 34 weeks, it'd be two weeks in the hospital. At 36, he could likely go home with us after a few days. So, obviously, we're doing whatever we can to make it as far as we can - and if that means my butt lands in the hospital, as much as I dread that thought of it, so be it.

So, if you haven't guessed, I'm back in bed with my remote, phone, a stack of books and magazines, the loaded DVR, and a gallon of water at my disposal... and this is where you'll be able to find me for the foreseeable future...